To Change It
by Raeni12345
Summary: He was a changed man. He had lost everyone he had cared about, failed everyone he had known.   Diverges from canon between series 3 and 4, but may contain spoilers from series 4 and 5
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Re-working an old story. Apologies to those of you who read and reviewed it 10 months ago and then were left hanging. It's changed a bit, and this time there really are more chapters to come.**

**Enjoy! And please let me know what you think.**

...

He could hear the angry roar of the creature, feel the ground shake as it pounded toward him. Only a few more steps.

The shimmering, fractured light of the newly-opened anomaly played in the trees ahead. Seven steps, just seven steps. Six. Five. The creature was almost on him. Four. Three. Two...

He fell rather then jumped through the anomaly. His shoulder hit hard against the rocky ground, and he rolled once to break the fall. But his fingers were already pressing the buttons, a well-practiced code, on the small black device in his hand, and seconds after he cleared the portal, it expanded then imploded behind him, and he collapsed on his back, gasping for breath.

After only a minute's rest, he was back on his feet, the device safely back in his pack, his 500 Tactical Cruiser at the ready in his hands, as he surveyed the new era. Mild climate, ancient pines, the calls and cries of various reptiles. Cretaceous? Maybe.

At one time, that would have spawned a glimmer of hope, hope that he had found the right anomaly this time: the right place, the right time. But he had been through so many now, and there was no way of knowing for sure. With only a prototype anomaly device and a partial map of known anomalies, he had long since moved into the realm of the unknown, the unmapped. And he had long since moved beyond hope.

He was a changed man. He had lost everyone he had cared about, failed everyone he had known. He was once respected and trusted, a member of the elite field team with the ARC. Now he was a fugitive, fighting his way through time, trying to find a way to change what had happened. A way to save them all.

With only an anomaly device and a gun. And the inability to give up.

Taking a deep breath, he started to walk.

…

_He knelt by the headstone, and slowly traced her name with his fingertip. Abigail Sarah Maitland._

_Abby. His dark eyes swam with tears that he struggled to keep from falling. He knew if he started to cry, the dam might break and he might never stop. He had never felt so broken._

_The ARC owned a large plot of the cemetery. There were dozens buried here – soldiers and civilians alike, those that had died struggling to contain the anomalies and the creatures that came through. Nick Cutter was buried here. So was Sarah Page. And now Abby had joined them._

_They had found her body in the woods. Rex had led them to her. She looked at peace, finally at peace, even with the blood that stained her clothing from the knife in her lap._

_The tear had slipped down his cheek unnoticed, and when he tasted it in the corner of his mouth, he fiercely wiped his cheek dry._

"_I'm coming, Abby," he whispered. "I'm coming."_

…

It was faint, very faint. At first, he wasn't sure that it wasn't just his imagination playing tricks on him. He inhaled deeply again. No, he was sure of it. There was a slight tang of smoke in the air. Not enough to be a forest fire. More like a campfire.

His heart started to pound, even as his mind fought against the hope that rose, unbidden, in his chest. The first hope he had felt in years.

He could definitely smell the smoke now, and a hint of something else. Something cooking. He struggled not to break out into a run. "It could be anyone," he told himself, barely realizing he was speaking out loud. "Other people have stumbled through too. What are the chances, that you actually found the right one? Especially now."

He had to be getting close now, but he still couldn't see the fire, and in the growing dusk, he couldn't make out any smoke either.

"Where are you?" he growled, frustrated. He strained his eyes to see in every direction. The trees were sparser here, giving way to bushes and brambles, and there were more rocks and outcroppings. The light attached to his gun only illuminated a small area around him, and he knew if it got much darker, he would have to stop or risk falling and injuring himself.

He stopped, unclipping the light from his gun so he could shine it around him. Then he heard it. A soft, muffled voice. A woman's voice. And nearby. He couldn't make out what she was saying, but there was definitely someone out here.

He took a few more cautious steps, now following the voice as well as the smell, and within seconds he came around a cluster of rocks and could see the flickering of a fire and a figure, half in the shadow, sitting near it. He took a few steps forward, and his doubts disappeared.

"Abby!"

…

Abby let out a cry and scrambled backwards, shock responding like terror in her body at the sound of another human voice in a world populated only by dinosaurs.

She barely registered that the figure rushing toward her was crying out her name. He stopped short when he saw her fear, standing just within the light of the fire that now separated them.

Abby blinked, and stared, then started to gasp for breath as tears flooded her eyes.

His once-immaculate hair was now a little long and in disarray. His combat boots were scuffed and worn. His clothes were a mix of different human eras – medieval style rough cotton trousers held up with cord, and a faded t-shirt that was missing both sleeves. The arm of a crude woolen sweater hung from his battered military backpack, and he held tightly to a combat rifle that had seen better days. Three raised but faded red marks ran across his shoulder, disappearing into his shirt, and a newer scar marked his face from eyebrow to cheekbone, narrowly missing his left eye.

And it was his eyes that she recognized, over anything else. Dark and deep, though now weary and pained.

"Becker!"


	2. Chapter 2

_She was utterly distraught and inconsolable._

"_He's gone! He left!"_

_Becker reached out to hold her, but she fought him off fiercely._

_He had gotten the call that morning, that Abby had taken a turn for the worse. He had rushed out, barely sparing a glance at Matt or Lester as they called after him. And he had driven like a maniac all the way out to the cottage._

_He had found her out in the gated garden, in a frenzied state, tearing at her hair and screaming for Connor. The nurse was keeping an eye on her, but was also keeping her distance. A doctor had been called, but hadn't arrived yet._

"_Abby!" He grabbed at her arms again, this time capturing them. She struggled against him, but finally collapsed, sobbing._

"_He's gone! I can't find him! Where is he? Connor!"_

_Becker didn't know what to say, how to comfort her. So he just held her and rocked her like a child until the doctor came and sedated her._

_By the next morning, she had slipped into a catatonic state._

…

Becker was unprepared for the sudden surge of emotion that flooded his body as Abby threw herself into his arms. He had been so numb for so long, he had almost begun to believe that he couldn't feel. But that all changed the moment he felt the warmth of a living Abby in his arms. He had found the right anomaly. He could change things now.

Perhaps.

He looked past her, into the shelter, scanning for the other person he hoped would be here.

"Connor?"

Abby tensed in his arms and let out a small distressed sound. Becker's heart sank in his chest. The right anomaly, but not the timing he had hoped for.

Abby pulled back, still not releasing him, still needing that human contact, but enough that she could look into his face. Tears of misery now dripped from those beautiful blue eyes. "He... Connor..." She turned her head and looked at a rise of earth at the back of her shelter.

"How long ago?" Becker fought against the stinging in his own eyes, the familiar sense of guilt and failure in his chest.

"I don't know," Abby admitted mournfully. "I... I don't keep track." A small sob shook her body. "A while ago." She pulled in close again and pressed her head against his chest, and he could feel the wetness of her tears through his shirt.

It was the smell of the strange-looking fish she was cooking starting to burn that finally ended the embrace. Abby cursed as she pulled it off the fire and onto a bed of leaves. "Barely edible," she mumbled bitterly, poking it with a stick.

Becker couldn't help the bit of a laugh that escaped, but he quickly fished through his pack until he found the packs of beef jerky he had picked up the last time he had been through a modern era anomaly.

"This might taste better," he quipped as he tossed her a package.

…

Becker lay there, awake, long after Abby had fallen asleep, her back curled against his side for comfort, but her hand resting on Connor's grave. For the first time, in all the years of wondering, he had finally learned what had happened to Connor.

"There were raptors – two of them. I wasn't being careful enough... they had me trapped. Connor tried to save me. He killed one of them, but the other one..." Abby had paused, struggling for breath as her chest tightened, reliving that day. "We managed to kill it, but it had ripped Connor's chest open."

Becker had cringed against the pain that tore through his own chest, remembering a very similar scene, only with a future predator and Sarah. Seeing her ribs, feeling the blood on his hands as he tried to stem the flow. Hearing her voice getting weaker.

There had been a long moment of silent and mutual agony.

But Abby's next words had chilled him to the core. "He told me that he wouldn't leave, that he'd look after me, make sure I made it home. And he has been." She had looked lovingly over at the mound, and run her fingers along the dirt. Her eyes had taken on a distant, slightly glazed look, and Becker had shuddered in spite of himself.

"You see his ghost, don't you?" He had forced the words out.

"I don't believe in ghosts." Abby's voice had sounded far away. "But Connor doesn't care. He refuses to leave me alone out here." She had turned toward Becker, with a slight hint of a smile. "He's happy to see you."

Tomorrow, Becker determined, wrapping his arms protectively around Abby's sleeping form, he would open up an anomaly and get her out of here. Help her. Fix her. Then he would try to save the others.

...


	3. Chapter 3

...

_He would never love again. That is what he had told himself in the aftermath of Sarah's death. He had been so thoroughly destroyed that there were dark moments when he considered ending his own life._

_She never should have been with him that day. They should have found a way to bring the console back through the anomaly, let her work on it there. Instead, he had reluctantly agreed to bring her through, to see if she could get the machine to work. It was their only link with what might have happened to Abby and Connor and Danny. And he had been so determined to find them, so determined to bring them back, that he had been willing to risk the life of the woman he loved._

_She had died that day, along with seven of the twelve soldiers that had accompanied them. He had been badly injured himself, but somehow he had managed to carry Sarah's body back through the anomaly. He buried his heart with her the day of her funeral._

_Or so he thought._

_He didn't know how it happened. He had been called to the cottage that day, told that Abby was asking for him. He had left work early, as he always did when he was needed. Lester had a tendency to look the other way, ignore how often Becker disappeared from the ARC._

_She had been particularly lucid that day. No talking to an invisible Connor, no rambling, no staring off into blank space, no crying. They had sat out in the garden, and she had asked him about what was happening at the ARC, and had told him stories of the trouble Rex had gotten into that morning, when he had escaped into the kitchen. Becker had felt hope rise in his heart, that maybe she was finally coming around, finally starting to get better._

_She had fallen asleep against his shoulder, and he had carried her back to the house. And watching her, so peaceful and beautiful, in his arms, he realized that he loved her. Realized that he had fallen again. He had expected fear or self-loathing to accompany the realization, but instead he had simply accepted it. He loved Abby Maitland._

_Just as he had loved Sarah._

…

She was talking to Connor. He could catch bits of what she said, as she moved about the camp. She was talking low, as though trying not to wake him up, so he feigned sleep for a few moments longer.

"... not sure how. He said he was looking for us for a long time... yeah, he is a lot older then I remember too... I don't know, we'll have to ask him... fine, I'll ask him then."

"Ask me what?" It bothered Becker, hearing Abby talking to Connor as though he was answering back. Bothered him too much for him to continue pretending to sleep.

Abby jumped, startled, and spun around. "I thought you were asleep," she stated. Then she got a slightly guilty look on her face. "We didn't wake you, did we?"

Becker shook his head, trying to ignore the obvious reference to Connor. "What did you want to ask me?" he queried again.

"How long... how long ago did we disappear? How long has it been for you?" Abby looked into the fire for a long moment before looking up at him.

Becker mentally counted back in his head. "About seven years."

Abby stared at him incredulously. "Seven years?" When Becker nodded, she released a breath. "Wow."

He could see her trying to wrap her head around it, see more questions forming in her mind, questions that he wasn't sure he wanted to answer quite yet.

"A lot has probably changed, then?"

Becker nodded. "Almost everything," he stated. He didn't offer more.

"Did..." Abby hesitated, as though she was unsure she wanted to know. "Did any of us make it back?" She searched Becker's face, but any expressiveness was gone, and his soldier's mask was firmly in place.

Becker took a breath. "You came back," he said softly. "And Danny, but he left again." Left again, and never came back.

Abby frowned slightly when Becker's face went dark and he fell into silence, absently prodding the fire with a stick. There was obviously so much he wasn't telling her, so much he was trying to hide. He had answered her questions, but had been blatantly short on details.

When she pressed, he instantly changed the subject.

"We need to pack," he told her. At her surprised look, he pulled out the small black device and showed it to her. Though nothing nearly as advanced as the devices that Helen and Connor had both used, she was instantly aware of what it was.

She took it from his hands gently, almost reverently. "This opens anomalies? This is how you found me?"

Becker nodded. "It's a prototype. The ones the ARC uses are more advanced, but it works." He took it back from her hands, and turned it over a couple of times in his. "We might have to go through a few anomalies to get you back there."

"Okay." She didn't know what else to say. After months, being stuck in the Cretaceous, there was a possibility she could finally go home. She should have been ecstatic. Instead, she trembled as her eyes lit on the grave at the back of the shelter, and a tear slid, unbidden, down her cheek.

...

_Matt had an EMD trained at Becker's chest, and a no-nonsense look in his eyes._

"_Hand it over, Becker."_

_Becker swallowed hard against a curse, and hesitated. Part of him wanted to make a run for it, or try to open an anomaly right there in the ARC. But he knew that Matt would not hesitate to shoot him, and even if he did, by some miracle, get away, the entire ARC and quite possibly a large portion of the British military would be after him in seconds. The devices could open and close the anomalies very quickly, but they left a temporary energy signature – a breadcrumb trail – that could be followed for a few hours after._

_Reluctantly, he let go of the device, letting it clatter to the floor, and turned his back on the team leader. Matt lowered his weapon, but kept a hold, ready to raise it again if Becker made it necessary. _

_Becker braced himself, expecting to finally be fired. Fired, or arrested. His now-too-frequent breaches of protocol wouldn't be ignored forever. But instead, he felt Matt's hand on his shoulder._

"_I know you've lost a lot of people," Matt said softly. "I'm sorry about Abby."_

_Becker flinched away from the other man, and almost growled. "Then let me fix it."_

"_I can't, Becker." Matt shook his head sorrowfully. "We just saved the future. What if something you do changes it again? I can't risk that."_

"_I know," Becker finally acceded. But I can, he added silently, as he walked away._

_Jess was waiting for him in the car park the next morning, looking decidedly nervous as she fiddled with the edge of her rather short and very bright green skirt._

"_I heard about yesterday," she stated. "And Matt told me to make sure you can't get at the anomaly devices." She chewed her lip. "Your bio-tag won't open storage five anymore." She flinched at the black look that Becker shot her. "I'm sorry. I had to," she protested. Then she leaned in close, and added in a whisper, "But Nathan is going to be working on one of the old prototypes in his lab this afternoon, and he might accidentally leave it unguarded."_

…

Becker gave Abby some space and time after they packed the camp. He could see her, sitting on the grave, talking to Connor. He hoped that if she was able to say goodbye, then maybe she could leave Connor's "ghost" behind in the Cretaceous.

At the same time, he felt guilty for the thought. Connor had been the man she loved. How could he expect her to leave that behind? He knew that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. Any more then he had or ever could.

"I'm going to save you too, Temple," he whispered. "It just might take a while."

…


End file.
